


Isn't That What Happens?

by JemBane



Series: Trans Alex Fluff and Angst [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Coming Out, F/M, Fluff, Loving John, M/M, Supportive John, Trans Alex, Trans Alexander Hamilton, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-03-10 18:45:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13507584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JemBane/pseuds/JemBane
Summary: Alex is ready to tell John who he really is, but how is John going to take the knowledge that his girlfriend of 6 years is actually, hopefully still, his boyfriend.AkaAlex is insecure and nervous and John is a good boyfriend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on here, and I wrote it at 4 a.m, excuse my poor dysphoric writings

It was the perfect lazy Sunday; rain was pouring over the apartment complex, the rhythm like a steady drum beat. Somewhere in the building, John Laurens and Alexandra Hamilton were sat on the couch of their shared apartment; John reading a Steinbeck novella and Alex staring out of the window, John’s hand rested on his girlfriend’s calf. 

Alexandra, or Alex, who was about to tell her boyfriend that she was really a he and that John was the last to know, 

_ No big deal though, _ Alex told himself.  _ Sure _ , he was sure.

Alex ran his hands through the dark brown locks that had found its way in front of his eyes. The Puerto Rican boy hummed softly, turning towards his lover who was sat next to him on the couch. “Babe.” Alex nudged John’s thigh with his toe. “Can we talk?”

John set his book to the side and pulled Alex’s feet onto his lap. “What’s up baby girl?”

Alex sighed, trying to regulate the speed his words as he began, “I just…” He sighed again, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand. He’d waited long enough to tell his boyfriend, too long. 

_ ‘You’ve waited long enough to be yourself for Christ sake,’ _ Alex tried to pull himself together, starting once more. “I don’t feel right like this anymore,” he began.

“If it’s something I did sweetheart can we talk about it?” John began to rub Alex’s legs, massaging his girlfriend’s calves. “You know I’d never try to upset you.” 

“No baby, that’s… it isn’t about us babe.” Alex leaned against the back of the couch. “I mean like me. I don’t like my hair, it’s so long. I can feel it tickling my neck and it’s so feminine. a My chest feels so heavy, all the time— and most times I can’t even breath because it hurts. When you call me your girlfriend I want to cry. I love you so much John you don’t even know but…” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m not a girl. I’m not. I don’t want to be, I can’t be.” Alex’s breathing picked up, squeezing his eyes shut and burying his eyes against the back of the couch. 

“Sweetheart, Alex come on honey look at me, there is no need to panic baby,” John moved closer, Alex’s thighs on top of his. “Now come on, show me your pretty little eyes, common, there we are.” John cupped Alex’s cheek in his palm. “You’ve known me since high school baby. You think that’ll change anything? I love ya no matter what.” John took Alex’s hand in his free one. “What would ya like me to call you?”

Alex rested his head on John’s shoulder. “Alex is fine still.” He mumbled. “Just… I’ve never been a girl, it’s never felt right, Alexander has been what my dad has been calling me that since freshman year of high school. I just… I told the Washingtons, how could I not tell my foster parents. I told Lafayette, and Herc," John frowned at that, eyes going to his lap. "I didn't plan on telling them first, they saw something I left open on Laf's laptop.I wanted to tell you I just…” Alex closed his eyes again. “I didn’t want you to stop loving me.” 

John moved Alex’s legs off of his lap and turned towards his boyfriend. “Well then, you must be more than ready to start transitioning. It's been quite the wait you've had." 

Alex quirked an eyebrow, "What do you mean? I mean... well yes but aren't you... Aren't you upset or anything? I've known for six years and I left you in the dark. Hell, I feel mad  _for_ you." John took Alex's hands.

"Alex, you aren't obligated to tell me anything. I love you, that means I'm alway's here for you. Let’s-” John’s eyes lit up. “Let’s go get your hair cut, right now. If we get dressed now we’ll have enough time to do somethin’ fun after.” 

John kissed Alex on the forehead gently. “I’m sorry you felt like you had to hide from me.” 

Alex stood, leaning up to kiss John properly. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.” He mumbled against John’s lips.

“Let’s go get my beautiful lil boyfriend feel’in like himself, alright?” 

~*~

Alex touched the ends of his freshly cut hair, it was crisp, soft. The sides and back shaved, and the top going just a little bit past the tips of his ears. “John.” Alex’s throat was tight. “Look.” 

“I see, and you look amazing Alexander.” John snapped a picture of Alex, smiling happily, the light hitting him just right. “I’m painting that later baby girl.” John bit his lip, “Sor-”

“I don’t mind it, babe.”  Alex looked over the list on the table. “I want color… I think.” He looked over at John. “I kinda want like… dark blue? I don’t know… isn’t it standard procedure to change your hair when your life turns upside down?”

John shook his head, smiling. “Do it, I’ll pay.”

Alex looked at John and bit his bottom lip. “Only if you add something in your hair.” 

“Sounds like a deal.” 

~*~

Almost two hours later Alex was sporting a dark blue undercut, it wasn’t exactly the pinnacle of masculinity, but Alex had never felt so good about himself. 

He was allowed out of the chair, and he walked to John’s chair and smiled. “What on earth have you done Laurens?”

John still had his long hair, but the ends were a soft pink, then purple, then blue ombre. Alex had to admit that it brought out John’s eyes. “It looks great.” He chuckled. 

John walked over, wrapping an arm around Alex’s waist, and spinning the younger boy a few times. “Not nearly as great as you look, Lex.”

Alex rolled his eyes and pressed his lips to John's softly.

~*~

After that it became a thing for the two of them, even when Alex got a job the banned color, he’d get a stripe done of a color in one of John’s paintings. John didn’t continue to dye his hair, but he did, in fact, get a tattoo that said,  _ My dearest Alexander, forever and always.  _ Alex got his binders, hormones, and even eventually top surgery. But right now, John is carding his fingers through his new boyfriend’s new hair. Alex believes for the first time since he was 14 that he could be happy, and maybe hearing John go on and on to him, late in the night, about how wonderful it was to have a boyfriend like Alex, maybe that helped a little.


	2. Not an Update, sry

So I want to keep working on this story, please feel free to send prompts and all that.


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